Why am I relating this? Because the biggest one developed food aggression. Starving made an indelible impression on his undeveloped but still smart little Poodle brain- he’s still the most lovable & human oriented guy you’d ever meet.
He will forever be that way, because he’ll be 10 this October & I don’t have the $ to consult a behaviorist or a professional trainer. I didn’t create the situation leading to this (an elderly BYB that died did 🤬) & it works for me- so be it.
I tried everything I could find to break him of this attitude (except what you did). The only thing that keeps him eating his own food (& not growling & barking at the others), is to feed him in his own crate, with the door latched, out of sight (I use a cardboard partition to block his view) of the rest.
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*Oh, & throw the shock collar away.
When you get back, check to see if he ate it. If so, good progress & keep doing that for awhile. Might take a month or more until you can let him eat outside the closet, but you’re still leaving him to himself to eat. If it gets to the point he’s comfortable with you being there, great.
Thats all I got. Maybe someone with more training & experience can suggest something else. ❤️🐩
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
You shouldn’t even be in the house making any kind of noise so he can detect you’re there. Just leave, & leave him alone. Probably should even take your other dog with you- go on a walk or something.
If separating him & hunger doesn’t overcome this pretty quick (improvement with in a week or 2), you may have to shell out some cash to consult/see a veterinarian.
But guess what? You will always have to feed them out of sight of each other. I have a rescued Miniature Poodle. I got him & his 2 brothers out from under a horse trailer when they were 3 weeks old. Their mom was starving & they were blue & limp. I thought sure they’d die, but I’d taken a syringe with me & got Gatorade down them, then puppy milk replacer until their mom got in back in enough health to lactate again.
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As for fixing it, since I’m not a licensed trainer & have so far avoided pulling bonehead stunts with my dogs that would create more & possibly worse problems, all I can suggest is to put the zapped dog & some really yummy food in a closet or other small room with a door, shut off the light & leave him alone for an hour or 2.
A2A: Don’t use shock collars. Especially for something as moronic as this. Sorry to be blunt, but I honestly can’t think of a lazier, more backfiring way to try to solve a problem that can be dealt with in an easier way- & you did ask me specifically. Aspies, in case you’re not aware, are blunt, especially when a lack of critical thinking & laziness is detected. 🤷♀️
